Its all a little unfair, its still a SPORT, isnt it? Damn, there are always pics in the Mags of chicks with crotch and boob shots all spread out...this is feminine? In a male dominated industry, I guess what is considered feminine is what basically can turn a guy on? I totally understand, as far as money goes, I was in promotions and advertising some years ago, I had a corporate job. Womens bodybuilding does not sell, but why kill it further? We have our own Magazines and industry making such a fucus on what is or is not feminine or appropriate. Yes, I am too extreme now...by Profession, I am a Tattooist, I do cosmetic as well as Medical Tattooing as well. I have done many custom tattoos as well as helped many cancer and alopecia patients as well. So...Yes, I am Tattooed. I never claimed to want to be Ms. Olympia....just wanted the chance to be part of an industry and lifestyle I enjoyed. In Muscle Mag International, Number 307. December 2007 Issue, Page number242, (see image just below, click on small icon to see full size), There is an article tackling the Femininity Issue and what should be Judged. I do FULLY agree with Peeples and Legeros as far as the total package should be considered. Peeples even comments that... Womens bodybuilding is best in a performance type production such as Laurie Fierstiens staged show in the early 1990s....Well, back then I was in that show! There is a full book that had been written specifically about that show (see image just below, click on small icon to see full size). The Book is...Iron Maidens-The celebration of the most awesome female muscle in the world-, by Kristin Kaye, ISBN number 1-56025-704-0, Publisher Thunders Mouth Press, New York.

Ok, well, my point is, Yes, I am extreme, I chose to be, but as far as commenting not at all about my physique, but only focusing on and commenting about my tattoos. Come on! Lets all be fair here, so what one man might think is hot, another may not. There are some that may hate my tattoos and say its unfeminine....but is the hot fitness chick with the 6 page spread unfeminine and not attractive because she may have an ankle, but or lower back tattoo? Some men see any tattoo at all as gross on women...its all opinion. As far as me and my ink, yes, it is extreme, amd causes some problems when judjoing me, they may be distracting...but if a guy were to have these tats, he is not looked at the same way. I compete because I enjoyed it, I payed my NPC dues, I support the local gyms and organizations...so to chastize someone like me, and drive me away is a loss to Womens Bodybuilding. We are a tiny group of athletes Worldwide, we all train so hard...for what?...for our own cause. Thers no money, no press or glory. We just do it because its in us. To chase what few competitors away for what you see as not fitting the mold is not right. The mold can be filled with pages of fitness and figure girls. As far as us Womens Bodybuilders, we are all extreme in our own ways. You have to be to do this.

I did my best to fit the new criteria handed down. In my mid 40s I was happy to look the way I did when I won that show. I went for a total package...I presented my best, well prepared, conditioned, makeup, nails, hair, presentation, outfit, tan, physique...It had been a long time, I have been through a lot. I totally understand and agree with the comments about me being extreme, I am...thats what I am. I live life to the fullest and most extreme extent. Yes, its been good, Ive taken the bad with it as well. Like I said, when is getting tattooed unfeminine...and exactly how mauch ink or square inches or placement would be considered too much? One inch, three inches, ankle, arm, back? Ahhh, and the breasts and competition...I guess its Ok to be a fitness and figure girl with the bust and boob issues in the mags....bustin out all over the place with that come hither and f--k me look. But get a busty Bodybuilder onstage and man, all hell breaks loose. Yes, like I said, Im extreme, so I have huge boobs. Question for you all though..."If I choose to have larger implants, is that fair to judge the implants as well? and if so, will someone who is FLAT chested be marked down as well, becaus ethey CHOOSE to remain flat and therefor not be PERFECT either?"...I think so, I think its fair. Yes, I agree, its all part of SYMMETRY, but lets all be fair accross the board here...Diana Cadeau is large busted, and Iris Kyle is a smaller petite bust....both placed 1 and 2 in the Olympia, so obviously breast size really didnt matter? Two totally different built women. Hard to say. Yes, Its all package and symmetry, I understand...What may be just right for one guy to look at may be just too much for another. What bust size is or is not too much?

At one time I had a MM cup size with 3000 cc implants, I reduced them, about half that size. I am happy with the way I look now, I like me, as me. I dont fashion myself to necessarily win a show, or need approval...Im just me, I do the best I can. I think that Womens bodybuilding is a small and extreme group, it will nevr be accepted by mainstream or make any big bucks...todays world still is not ready to accept that look. I aggree, I think the total drugged, cross gendered look is NOT the way to go....the way to go is with a total package. Fitness and Figure have stolen the bacon as Peeples put it in MuscleMag. But...To start a brand new division for Physique as Betty Pariso wants to do...is not the way to go. Its all ready confusing. You have women within the SAME show entering fitness AND bodybuilding divisions, sometimes even all 3 and doing figure too! How you judge that?! The divisions should all be different and seperate. Why have a figure girl compete in figure then snad up in a lineup next to me in a bodybuilding division? It makes it all much more confusing to judge! Where is the line drawn? Whats feminine....or even too feminine? Whos to make that decision? Like I said, Im not shooting to be Ms. Olympia, I realize exactly what I look like. Afret all these years away from competing though, I was sureley suprised to see that its gotten so much more confusing to judge.

Now, with the internet, we can ALL put our two cents in, its just all over, hate it or love it...comes down to PERSONAL opinions, likes and dislikes. All and all I was kind of suprised....after many years away...and finally making and appearance and all...nothing was said or commented about as far as my hardness, lighter bodyweight, package, presentation, new look...all that was important. Instead, more was said about my extreme look. Yes, I understand, I am...but damn, whats important here...so ink is bad? How much ink makes it bad? Bust size, what is too big? Is Flat bad too? Whats the definition of Feminine? Kind of an ongoing never ending debate. I DO understand that we are judged on our appearance, I also know that I am extreme and over the edge...its obvious. I KNOW you may getthe good as well as the bad feedback and comments. As far as comments like why do I bother?...Well, like I said I do it for me. As far as me in competition anymore, I dont think I will. I definateley will always train though and continue on, but as far as being judged in competition, Im all good with that now.

Muscleerotica.com...This is now my only Official Personal Website. I am currently rebuilding this site. I AM BACK!!!! This site will be broken into 2 sections, A Free AND a Members Only Areas. My ctol free site server no longer exhists so I moved that entire free site here. In conjunction with that I am currently rebuilding my Adult Members Only site here along with that as well. I will be back again on the scene FULL FORCE! This site here now contains BOTH sites...FREE and MEMBERSHIP. Muscleerotica.com is now the only site I personally build and run. Muscleerotica.com will contain BOTH area for All General access as well as a FULL ADULTS ONLY Membership access and be continually added to, as time goes. Thanks for your patience, time and understanding!

I was told Id never even move my arm again the same way, or it couldnt be fixed...from MANY Orthopaedic surgeons, from Boston to Yale! I was so stunned no-one could help....Until I found My Doctor! Dr. David Cohen, M.D. is my Doctor. He is at the Connecticut Orthopaedic Specialists Group. The website is at...www.CT-ORTHO.COM....check Dr. David Cohen out! Hes amazing and specializes in this injury. He is in Hamden, Connecticut. He was able to do it, The surgery took about 4 hrs and recovery after that was many hard months. I was now on a mission, I had to have my arm imobile for 3 months! After that was rehab and learning how to use my arm again. All I could do was hold a cellphone or keys and pick up light objects and start all over again. It was brutal! I started curling 2 pould dumbells 3 months later! Wow, I far cry from the 60 pounders I curled prior to my injury. I stuck with it...every day, day in and day out. I still went to the gym daily and trained everything I possibly could and worked on rehab EVERY day! I eventually about 16 months later...on June 23, 2007, stood onstage and Won the entire 2007 NPC Jan Tana, King Kamali Bodybuilding Competition in New York...Never say I cant, and NEVER quit...thats what made me compete again! Check out the following pics, just days after surgery.

This show meant so much to me mainly because it was a Personal Triumph, I overcame such odds, I had to do it for myself, and just do the best I could. I really tried to have an entire whole new look. I enjoyed it, I had a great time and was very happy. I went in with no expectations, just 100 percent prepared, just did the best I knew I could. I had a custom suit made, completeley changed my posing, look and presentation. I shot for the new NPC Criteria of muscularity and femininity. I was definateley leaner than I ever was, dialed my legs in. Just had a short time to improve upper body with all the surgeries and all. I made the most I could of that.

THANK YOUS!...Thank Yous are in order from me to Everyone who sponsored and ran that show. That day was so very special to me in its entirety, form start to finish. I was so happy I was high on cloud 9! It was a great mental fix and healing for me, kind of like a rebirth. Id like to thank the NPC, for having a great forum for us women to show, Jan Tana and King Kamali for their awesome show, all the sponsors contributers and supporters, all the staff and people running it from competitor help to backstage and sound, all the bodybuilding fans and media that turned out, and finall to all my personal friends and family that came out to support me and be by my side.....to ALL, it wouldnt have happened without you!

As far as actual competition atthis point though anymore, I may or may not. The way the sport is going as well as the response to my extreme look, may not. I went out with a good show at the Jan Tana. Im happy with that. Ill always train, never will I stop. But, as far as that on stage getting judged...not at this point. I just had wanted to do it one last time. Ill keep everyone posted!